The new style...

I am starting a new blog…as you can see.

Confucius said “A journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step” andI’m starting to understand that philosophy.

I have always wanted to embrace my creativity and “do something” with my creative abilities. It just always felt so daunting. Like the biggest hurdle, I couldn’t possibly jump. So I did nothing. I’ve sat by and watched friends and family succeed and thrive, and I continued to do nothing. Lately, I have been listening to the book “Excuses Be Gone,” by Dr. Wayne Dyer, and in it he explains several ways in which we sabotage ourselves by using excuses that we fully accept as truth. I have to say it hits very close to home and has been very inspiring. When I use the excuse “It’s too big,” he answers with the affirmation: “I think only about what I can do now. By thinking small, I can accomplish great things”. Wow, it’s so simple, but it makes total sense, and somehow it jimmies me out of the rut I’ve been in since, well, forever.

I've been so stuck in my own tracks, I began to feel like I was stuck for good. (Or for bad, as the case may be.) So now, I'm heading into a new paradigm wherein I will do something…anything…and a little at a time.

With this new philosophy, yesterday I went to the city college here to look into the possibility of taking a creative writing course, and possibly a digital photography course. It was fun, I mean…at least I was looking into the future and trying to put things in it that I know I could accomplish. It may not be much, but it’s a start. I have made a promise to myself and a good friend of mine, Dan (shoutout!), who is a successful writer slash producer, that I would start writing a little each day. He didn’t know of my new regime, yet his idea fit right into what I was hearing I should do in order to overcome roadblocks. Interesting how the universe works when we are open to receive.

In the past I have tried to blog, but I only ended up using it as therapy, to complain about the crap that was going down in my life…In looking back on the last one, all I do is moan about my ex- boyfriend and how shitty he treated me. I mean, it’s useful, but only in so much as I see how stuck in a loop I can get. I mean, yeah, he was a selfish asshole- but so why did I continue to vie for his attention??!! It was a ridiculous and painful waste of time and it was morosely self-indulgent. I guess it was what I needed to do at the time though, and everything I am now is due to all that I have experienced. That said, I will not feel stupid about that part of my life. I found a lot things out about myself during that period, which I won’t go into for now. Still….I would like for this blog to be different.
I want to write short stories and poems, as well as talk about some of the things I’m going through in my daily life and my views of the world around me. I’d like to be able to post pictures, as I really enjoy taking them and sharing them. I also would like to have a twitter-feed so that my constant use of twitter is at least slightly more productive(!). I'd like to use this as a training ground for future creative endeavors, in hopes that I will one day be able to figure out what it is I love the most, and then do that for a living. So what if I'm just figuring it all out now...Some people never do.

New me is anxious to get it started, but confident that I will achieve. Old me would have probably quit already. So at this point, I have to pat myself on the back for making a start. ...For sitting down and writing, even though there are a million other things that my procrastinating self would like to do. I'm a little nervous that I'll revert to my old patterns and not follow through with this...and also slightly terrified of what comes next...but, like I said, (or actually like Confucious said), A journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step. Yeah so uh, keep coming back, it works if you work it.